So, October has been shitty.
I’ve struggled at work. I’ve struggled in my romantic relationships (or lack thereof). I’ve struggled to be a good friend. I’ve struggled to be the type of daughter/sister I hope to be. I’ve struggled to manage keeping balls in the air in my personal life, between looking for new housing and finding an opportunity to work on a political campaign and being a good mentor/coach to colleagues.
Subsequently, I’ve been a toad. I’ve been no fun to be around. I’ve been inexplicably sad. I’ve been curt and bitter and angry and I don’t like being any of these things.
I’ve never felt this way when I’ve been single before. I’ve gone to this dark place in relationships, though, which is how I knew it was time to get out.
Now, I’m trying to figure out which way is up. Trying to rediscover the things that bring me joy. And I think I’m seeing the light. I’m writing down my “North Stars” - the guiding principles and values that, if I orient myself according to their weight in my life, the decision I make will be for the best.
So I’m making a decision that November will be wonderful. And I can’t wait to watch it all unfold.
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